....web me senseless....

Recess Files... Contd..

Id like to savour this one... my fallibilty...

Take a minute…
Take an hour…

Try not to understand this quagmire...
Take it back now…
Your lies…
Your deceit...
Give me back those precious moments…
Because all this time you plotted…
To savour my defeat…
Little did you know…
That you had already won…

With the very first strand of this web you had spun…

my clouds....

Eternity of fate

My fate twists and turns… there is no reason… there is no why… the drums beat against my ears… closing my eyes doesn’t help… the flower I see in the distance… burning but beautiful… must get there but I don’t know how… the voices call I wish not to hear them but they persist… reach out and I cry for help… close my eyes and open them… the fields before me green in their splendor, tall to my waist flowing in the silent breeze… with every sway a different hue I see… I sit on a rock and ponder with a dying mind… be here forever I want… tears of absolution threaten to come… my heart at peace and my mind finally at rest… resistance lost… the tears flow… no I will not leave I scream… my voice echos into the nothingness I fear looked down at me… I get up from my rock and begin the walk… my hands ever so gently caress the tips of the stalks… where am I headed… yet I keep walking… it comes I feel it in my core… what it is I know not… but keep walking I must… to meet my fate in this meadow of infinity… here I am once again… at the edge of a steep cliff… at the precipice of my fears… the water below so calm… not a wave… not a glimmer of a ripple… spreading my arms I fall… the water draws near… nearer… and nearer… the final moment of truth… the eventual splash… and then nothing like I presumed… encompassed… surrounded… belittled…

this was a partial dream... some elements of it...

thought this pics went very appropriately with the composition below... :)

Recess Files... Contd...

One of my new ones... :)

As I soar into the sky…
As I plunge into the clouds…
As I fly so effortlessly…
As I fall so gracefully…
As I ascend the planes…
As I plummet to the ground…
And when I open my eyes…
You are still here…
And I’m still sane…

aimless ramblings....

Everyone of us reaches out... into nothing... hopefull that we'll find something we could hold close and maybe love... a thing to validate our existance... its truely the way we were designed... trying to connect... to make that connetion that seems so insignificant yet is so integral... connected to that ethereal plane too we hold true to our beliefs... that eventually we will be found... by who or what? I know not... so lets just say something... but from the nothingness that we were created from stems the carnal desire to be understood... so which is it... being found or understood? But what good is understanding anyways... the complexities are far to multifaceted to hold any meaning in the end so it would take an eternity to understand something so trivial as a grain of sand let alone a human being...
then i guess being "found" matters more than being understood... u find love... u find hope... u find friendship... you find companionship... and reasoning goes out the window... no need to understand something so primal... giving in and making the connection... reaching out again... this time praying to dear God that something grab ahold of us before we fall into the void once again... but what really helps the process... what? Do we just accept the hand that is offered to us and hold on tight? Or do we wait.. think about it and maybe try and understand it...??
by the time all the questions are answered and the dust settled... wouldnt it be too late...? there it goes that one hand that could have found you! and you wasted your time trying to grasp connotations of no particular importance... feelings of being found lost forever... another kink in the chain... weakened again... all those connections made in vain... so it is once again down to the way we were created that we are a questioning lot... all of us breaking tiny things in to "whys" "hows" and "whens" regarless of consequence... seems alright at first but are you willing to have those questions answered at the risk of loosing those valuable connections... those connections that help define the proverbial meaning of "being found" or would u rather be lost...

Recess Files... Contd...

When the heart in my chest is ready to explode…
When the blood in my veins runs to slow…
When my tears run dry…
When my limbs go numb…
When there is no air in my lungs…
When my mind screams…
Maybe this is just a bad dream....
When my spirit is broken…
By the words you’ve spoken…
I close my eyes and let it wash over me…
The peace… maybe the love…
And the reassuring hope of finding myself…

Recess Files... Contd...

I wrote this 2 nights ago... its very fairy tale-ish... but it made me smile after i read it... and after i wrote it as well... certain kind of satisfaction you get from ryhmes huh?? :)

A long long time time ago…
In the corners of a kingdom far far away…
There lived a butterfly…
Tis was the most beautiful butterfly in all the land…
And he lived high up up in a sycamore tree thath hath be so grand…
Every now and every then, that butterfly would flutter down down to the dandelions below…
And every time it visited, the next day a new flower should grow…
Tis was the magic of the most beautiful butterfly…
Thath lived in a sycamore tree so grand…
But if you must know, that if the most beautiful butterfly should go…
All the colour and all the splendor it would never bestow…
Behold the magic of the most beautiful butterfly and the sycamore tree so grand…
But the time of the butterfly would soon be at and end…
Bringeth with it a future with no mend…
Tis was the folly of a foolish greedy man…
Who thought he could rule the rich kingdom with an iron hand…
With his battalion, he did descend…
But the peaceful kingdom could not defend…
They hath slaughtered the people and gathered the few…
For they should be burnt upon the morning dew…
Tied to that sycamore they begged, they cried…
“burn us not here for these lands would go dry…
as lives in this tree the magical butterfly”
to this the doltish plunderer did bellow a laugh…
who would have thought a man this daft…
and so when burnt to cinders was the sycamore tree…
the magical butterfly did flee…
thenceforth a mysterious plague hath consumed the land,
dried up the river it did and and turned all the gold to sand…
cry he would for the folly of his ways…
prayed, he did for the magical butterfly to return to the end of his days…

the moral of the poem: wotever seems appropriate... to me its "never take a magical butterfly lightly... and never laff at anything u dont understand... and dont burn trees!!":)

the butterfly that be... 

...the release...

Recess Files...conted...

another sumthing i wrote... :)

Waiting for the release…
From the realness of you and the absurdity of me…
Waiting to be led…
Into the depths of you and the abyss of me…
Waiting to feel…
The closeness of you and the pain of me…
Waiting…
For you, no longer for me.

Angels a fallin...

Recess Files...

Wrote this myself :)

As I fall into the arms
Of god…
The sky turns blue…
The clouds funnel…
The light shines…
I smile…
My wings fan…
And all is still…
The return of my will…
‘Not now’ I say
‘Just when I’ve learnt to fly away’