Recess Files...

Tread tread...
I seem to have left myself somewhere far...
Looking back hoping the door would be ajar...
The footsteps I left behind...
Seem too thorny to unwind...

Tread tread...
With each step I seem contrived...
There is no pleasure I seem to derive...
A whisper and a twist of fate like refractions of cornelian hue...
I cannot seem to drown in warm arms, long past due...?

Tread tread...
And so the angels hover above my kingdom...
Yet I stand alone in this spot so lonesome...
A feverish pitch does consume this time...
Nay, a desperate feeling to call something mine...

...

Recess Files...

... They said ...

We'd rather be friends...

... And I'm happy with that ...

Recess Files...

Today I professed to someone my fondness towards them...

Recess Files...

Far from sane...

Recess Files...

He told me his story and I fell in love with him again...

Recess Files...

I'm tired of pretending to be content...

When will I get my turn...

To be happy...?

Recess Files...

There is a sort of reluctance on my part...

To admit...

That I miss you...

Recess Files...

To have heard sounds in silence...

And believe the imaginary could be real...

To have found silence in sound...

And lost the ability to feel...

Recess Files...

To have realized I am a good thing...

But no one to say it to me...

Maybe I'm just conceited...

Recess Files...

To have realized that I am fragile...

Recess Files...

Today...

I walked through snow fall...

Recess Files...

Fiction

I saw him... And then I said he was mine. I dreamed it all up, a vision of pearly clarity. But still I kept dreaming and did not stop. Time stood still but he kept moving, a blur of motions and smiles. Every second a frame in which I placed his face. And so in dreams and what dreams may come, he was mine and it was like finding solace in vague reveries. I watched from the corner of the earth and from a small place somewhere in the corner of my soul, how my world whirled round and around a sonata of mysterious origins. Twirled and embraced, captivated and released at the same moment and... he lay next to me, felt his hands on my back, his breath as real as air only forcing me to wake up. But I kept my eyes closed and stayed quiet. Stayed.